[He almost laughs when she calls herself cold, but holds himself back - it wouldn't be appropriate, and there would be nothing funny about it anyway. Just a bitter irony.]
You don't have to apologize for something like that. I don't really mind it. And besides... [He smiles at her, but it's a very sad smile. Sad and self-deprecating.] I'm a much colder person than the boy you met back then. It wouldn't be right for me to mind.
[It hurts to say it, even as it's a relief. He wants to live on as Hinata Hajime, but he can't ignore that part of himself either. This might feel like a sweet dream, but he knows that what makes him Kamukura Izuru hangs just out of reach. He can feel it.]
...Maybe that wasn't the only reason. [His gaze rolls over her as he admits it softly.] I've had friends save my life before, but you're the first person I've called by first name... in a very long time, I think.
[He must've been a small child, with even less care for manners than he has now. He has to strain to even remember something like that.
But God... He saw the pout before, sees her smile now, the redness of her face and-
He can feel warmth in his chest, in his head and his gut, and the only thing Hinata can think is that it's so good that he's weak right now. It would be so easy, with her looking at him like that, to just lean up and try to...
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branchandroot
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Date: 2018-05-25 08:06 am (UTC)You don't have to apologize for something like that. I don't really mind it. And besides... [He smiles at her, but it's a very sad smile. Sad and self-deprecating.] I'm a much colder person than the boy you met back then. It wouldn't be right for me to mind.
[It hurts to say it, even as it's a relief. He wants to live on as Hinata Hajime, but he can't ignore that part of himself either. This might feel like a sweet dream, but he knows that what makes him Kamukura Izuru hangs just out of reach. He can feel it.]
...Maybe that wasn't the only reason. [His gaze rolls over her as he admits it softly.] I've had friends save my life before, but you're the first person I've called by first name... in a very long time, I think.
[He must've been a small child, with even less care for manners than he has now. He has to strain to even remember something like that.
But God... He saw the pout before, sees her smile now, the redness of her face and-
He can feel warmth in his chest, in his head and his gut, and the only thing Hinata can think is that it's so good that he's weak right now. It would be so easy, with her looking at him like that, to just lean up and try to...
...Geez. What are you doing to me, huh?]
...Maybe I just needed a good reason to.